b is for baby

Welcoming our newest little miracle...

a bunny ache

Last Christmas, I bought myself a gift from Natalie. It was a book called My Quotable Kid in which I could record all of the wonderful, amazing, funny things she would say once she started talking in earnest. Yesterday I finally made my first entry.

We were reading The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle. Natalie is now able to fill in the words of some books as we go. So, for instance, we read:

Mommy: In the light of the moon a little...
Natalie: egg
Mommy: lay on a...
Natalie: leaf. (She's very big on nouns.)
Mommy: One Sunday morning, the warm sun came up and ...
Natalie: POP! (the rare onomatopoeia)
Mommy: out of the egg came a tiny and very hungry...
Natalie: caterpillar.

It's adorable.

So when we got to Saturday in the book, we alternated reading the list of food the caterpillar had eaten that day. Natalie was able to help with most of the words -- pickle, cheese, ice cream, melon -- you get the idea. At the end of the list, there waits a very sick looking caterpillar.

We continued reading.
Mommy: That night, he had a...
Natalie: bunny ache.

I laughed of course. And I squeezed her and kissed her. A lot.

31 weeks

I completely forgot to post my 30 week picture! But here I am at 31 weeks!

I can't believe that in 9 weeks (and by "nine" I mean "please-God-make-it-less-than-nine") we'll be a family of four, and Natalie will be a big sister. I'm still trying to picture her in that role. Sometimes she seems so grown up, and sometimes she's still my little baby.

There are times I wish I could have her all to myself for a little while longer. With a face and personality like hers, who wouldn't? But I'm committed to finding ways to make her feel special, even while (especially while) the new baby needs constant attention.

The room is coming along slowly. The furniture is in, the paint is up. All I need is artwork. And, uh, a crib mattress :) Details, details.

18 months

Dear Natalie,

When you were born, I couldn't wait for your firsts. Your first smile, your first word, your first step. I remember thinking how nice it would be when you could hold your own bottle/cup, eat real food, walk on your own. Now we're there. Now you learn something every single day. Now time is moving too quickly. You're growing up too fast. I love the little girl you're growing into, but I am already nostalgic for the baby you've grown out of. I love you, angelface.

Love, Mommy

I guess that I can hold you one more time before you grow.

And tell you that I love you, so that you'll always know.

Please let me tie your shoe again. One day you'll tie your own.

And when you think back to this time. I hope it's love I've shown.

Tonight could I please wash your hair? And put toys in the bath?

Can I help you count your small ten toes before I teach you math?

Please let me help you up the hill. while you're still too small to climb.

And let me read you stories while you're young and have the time.

I know the day will come when you will do these things alone.

Will you recall the shoulder rides and all the balls we've thrown?

So will you let me carry you? One day you'll walk alone.

I cannot bear to miss one day from now until you've grown.

Original poem by Brad Anderson. Full text here.

cinderella ate my daughter

Growing up, I always heard how important it was to create your own values and to not let society dictate who you become. Peer pressure was a four letter word, and in social situations it was to be treated similarly to drugs and alcohol. Just say no to peer pressure.

I realize now that there's a not-so-subtle line between what I want for my own satisfaction and what society tells me I should want. And I'm coming to appreciate that if I strive for the former, I will be a happier person.

It took me almost 30 years to realize that. Is it impossible to hope that Natalie could grow up with that knowledge? Is it impossible to believe that she could grow into a 12-year-old girl who puts more emphasis on doing her best in school and being a good friend than the clothes she wears or fitting in with the right crowd?

Do you worry about these things for your daughter (or your son's future prom date)? Or were you were perturbed at seeing a 6-year-old dressed as a Pussycat Doll last Halloween? If so, you might want to pick up Cinderella Ate My Daughter the next time you are at the library.

Among the quotes that resonated with me (enough to write them down) were these:

What I want for my daughter seems so simple: for her to grow up healthy, happy and confident, with a clear sense of her own potential and the opportunity to fulfill it. p.9

Where was the point that exploration of femininity turned to exploitation of it, the line between frivolous fun and JonBenet? p.72

I don't want my daughter to be twenty-one when she is twelve. p.84

Rather than raising a generation of Cinderellas, we may actually be cultivating a legion of step-sisters -- spoiled, self-centered, materialists, superficially charming but without the depth or means for authentic transformation. p.104

If you have read or decide to read Cinderella Ate My Daughter, I would love to discuss it with you!

i will miss this house

No we aren't moving.

But when Matt and I talk about home improvements and budgets and styles, one of us always brings up the point that this is not going to be our forever house. We won't still be living here when our children leave for college or get married. We won't be grandparents in this house. We might not even be girl scout leaders in this house. Our original plan was 10-15 years then we'd move on.

When I look around though, I will miss what we've experienced here. I remember decorating the house: peeling wallpaper, painting, and larger renovations. I remember when we found out we were pregnant (twice!), and when we brought Natalie home. We learned how to be parents here.

When Natalie's older, and we look back at pictures of her childhood, I hope she remembers our first home. Playing in the pool and sprinkler and laughing in her baby swing. The slide she wanted so badly. The deck she "helped" to build. The bathtub she drew all over and played in with her sibling/s. That we couldn't keep her from climbing onto the bay window seat. And so many other everyday memories we haven't made yet.

Maybe the pregnancy hormones are making me overly sentimental. But I can't help it. I will miss this house.

our connecticut wedding weekend

Recently, we embarked a short visit to Connecticut for a wedding. Flying with a toddler, we were prepared for the worst, but Natalie was fantastic. During our first flight (1 hour, 15 minutes), she was slightly fidgety but fell asleep for the last half hour. She was jumpy but good-natured during the second flight (45 minutes).

Not everyone fared so well. Both flights were extremely turbulent. The second flight was my worst experience to date. Several people got sick, including Matt. And he never gets motion sick.

We checked into our hotel, fed Natalie, let her watch an Elmo DVD while we recovered, and prepared for the rehearsal dinner. Dinner lasted a long time past Natalie’s bedtime, but we were back at the hotel and fast asleep by 10:30 pm.

The next day brought a trip to the pool. Natalie totally dominated that pool. We showed her how to go under water then dunked her carefully. She wasn't crazy about it, but she wasn't afraid. Most of all she loved sitting on the side of the pool kicking her legs and splashing everyone in a 3 foot radius. She was in the water for two hours, followed by a two-hour nap.

The wedding ceremony was lovely. The cocktail hour was spent chasing after Natalie who at one point grabbed two handfuls of dirt from the potted plants and threw them all over herself and the floor.

The reception was fantastic. The first hour was dancing instead of dinner, and I’m so glad. Matt and I got to dance with Natalie, and she even busted out her frog dance move. This consists of a lot of up-and-down motion, stomping one foot, and saying "ribbip". We danced the entire hour. Then I rocked her to sleep, and left her slumbering peacefully in the care of a babysitter.

The next day was more family time, and the next night was a different hotel. Though she was coming down with something and had a fever, Natalie slept pretty well.

The flights home were better than the flights there. The first flight (1 hour), she got her own seat. The second flight (1 hour, 30 minutes) she slept the entire time.

We landed safely in Dayton and now look back fondly on our first vacation-with-a-toddler experience.

third trimester

Before falling asleep last night, I decided to dig out one of my pregnancy books to see what was supposed to be going on with new baby. Much to my surprise, said book informed me that I am now 25 weeks along and in my third trimester! When did that happen? Here is my 25 week belly shot.


My pregnancy with Natalie seemed to take so much longer. I don't think I was bored per se, but I do think I'm much busier now.

When your days are filled with moments like this, time goes too quickly.

another project down!

Our new deck is my favorite part of the whole house. Especially on days like today... a temperature around 75 degrees and the sunniest skies we've seen 'round these parts in quite a while. And now on to pictures.

Remember what it looked like before?

Well this is what it looks like now...

The view from the yard. A pergola adds shade because our house gets full-on midday sun. Built in benches on either side of the deck add functional seating, serve in place of railings, and take up only a fraction of the space of furniture.

A close-up of the pergola and bench seating


The view out the back door... much more open to the yard, and about 3 feet bigger thanks to the large terraced step.

Natalie is really excited about the new deck!

Happy Birthday!

Sure, 30 is a milestone, but we celebrate our entrance to middle age by enjoying a quiet evening on our new deck. Going out involves too much precious time spent away from our wonderful, adorable baby girl. So we gathered friends and family around a crackling campfire and toasted marshmallows. Perfect.

words words words

Natalie's first word was Dadda, though I'm not 100% convinced she knew what she was saying. Matt and I marvel every time she says a new word. Sometimes she repeats what we say, but sometimes she says a word out of the blue that we haven't spoken to her in days.

I thought it was great how much she was able to communicate at 15 months old. But when our doctor told us that she should know about 10 words by that age, I was floored. She was already close to 50. After that I stopped keeping track. I couldn't anymore. She was and still is learning words so quickly that I can't keep up. When people ask, I end up saying, "Uh let's see. She said water, and uh... gator. Um... swing... slide. She knows all the kids' names at daycare..." But I know there's more.

I attribute this language explosion to the fact that we read and talk to her every day, and have been since she was born. Since before actually. And during those long commutes to Oxford, I listed to an awful lot of audio books. (So if she grows up with a penchant for Jeremy Irons' voice, audio books are to blame.)

Also, she has extremely good genes ;)

Soon I'll post a picture of Natalie's "word wall". Matt brought home bath crayons that Natalie absolutely loves. But in an effort to keep my mom updated on all the new words Natalie was saying, I used the crayons to keep track. These are her first 50 words.

Journaling versus blogging

I have always been a fan of journaling. More so now that I have a child (and another on the way). I started Natalie’s journal when I was just 5 weeks pregnant. And now, at 14 weeks pregnant the second time, I have started a new journal for the new baby.

With a full time job, a precocious and adorable toddler, a home that demands renovation, and a husband that insists we have food in the house at all times, the question becomes… are two journals enough, or should I continue attempting to blog?

ho ho!

We took Natalie to the mall to see Santa the other day. The whole experience was great! The mall we chose has a train that runs behind Santa with a little winter wonderland setting. Natalie was too young to ride it, but she loved watching it go around while waving at the passengers. When her turn came, she spotted Santa and shouted, "Ho ho!" That's her name for Santa, and it's adorable the way she says it with such familiarity. "I know him! That's Ho ho!"

She sat happily on Santa's lap, and kept looking up at him with glee. "I can't believe I finally get to meet you!" her expression seemed to say. She also clutched her small stuffed Santa, which was beyond adorable. Enjoy!

first reds game!

Taking Natalie to a Reds game involved a lot of planning! We wanted to avoid night games, work around my weekend work schedule, and pick a day that wouldn't be too hot for her to be out for several hours. Hot days make us both cranky :)

We ended up buying tickets for the last Reds game of the season. Although we were joined by lots of other friends, Natalie was the only baby. She was awesome through most of the game. When she started getting fidgety, Matt and I took her for a walk around the park. She took home a Mr. Redlegs doll, and even got her picture taken with Gapper.

And we even won.

Obviously classy

If you’re anything like most people, you’ve gone through a period where you hated your name. Maybe you’ve sworn, as I did, that if you ever got the chance to name your own child, you’d do much better than your parents did.

I decided on my daughter’s first name a long time ago, so I’m lucky that the husband has similar taste. But what does our choice of names say about our taste exactly?

According to the book Beyond Ava & Aiden (the updated version of Beyond Jennifer & Jason), the name Natalie is glamorous, vintage chic, and feminine. It is also serious and grown-up, a name “your daughter may thank you for as she gets older.” And it reveals that Matt and I have a touch of Yuppy in us.

Natalie’s middle name — Claire — is all of those things, as well as “obviously classy.” Nice to know!

None of this guarantees that Natalie will like her name. The name Frances is a hipster name that is both serious and vintage. And although it has been “over looked by the masses,” it “has class to spare.” None of which changes my opinion, of course.

If you want to know what your child’s name reveals about you (or what your name reveals about your parents!) find Beyond Ava & Aiden at your local library or bookstore. Or ask me to look it up. I totally will.

Things I have learned from being a mommy

3. Your time suddenly becomes a lot more valuable.

Pop Quiz: You get home from work around 6:15 pm. You have one hour and 15 minutes before your baby goes to sleep. You choose to:
A. wash the dishes.
B. cook dinner.
C. cuddle with, play with, or take a walk with your baby.
D. update your social networking sites.

Maybe you are thinking, “That’s a cinch! I could put him in his swing in the kitchen while I make dinner. We could sing silly songs while he watches mommy be silly dancing around.”

That is a great idea, and I’ve tried it a couple of times. But when your baby is in his swing while you’re cooking — no matter how much of an effort you make to interact with or entertain him, there are going to be times you’re more focused on the cookbook, the sink, the stove, the oven, the cutting board than on your baby.

Once I became a mother, my free time completely disappeared. Not because I had no free time, but because the free time that I did have I wanted to spend with my daughter. (Or, after she goes to bed, with my husband.) Even running errands during my time with Natalie feels like I’m cheating both of us, because I can’t see her or really interact with her at all.

Although maybe at least grocery shopping will be more fun now!

Natalie's first shopping cart ride (5-9-10)

Happy Easter!

I don’t think I’ve ever sent out an Easter card until now. But sending out cards for random holidays is more enjoyable now that Natalie is here. In fact, I have come to appreciate that Natalie makes everything – yes everything – a lot more fun. Even though having a baby means getting up at 2:30 in the morning on a regular basis. Or having to stand in the back of a packed church because (1) there is no room to sit and (2) if the baby cries, I need a quick escape route. Or going to family functions where Natalie will be fussed over and played with until she becomes overstimulated, starts to cry, and needs her mommy to cradle and sing softly to her.

Even though it’s a lot more work, it’s also so much more fun.

Things I have learned from being a mommy

2. Settled down is actually kind of nice.

When Matt and I were dating, I told him point blank that I did not want children. I furthermore did not want to be tied down to a life of boring domesticity. I wanted to travel (I had just gotten back from a four-week tour of the British Isles). I wanted excitement and adventure ’round every turn. I did not — NOT — want to settle down.

Luckily, he wore me down. I’m not saying it’s not the right path for some people, but getting out of the Army was the best decision for us. Watching Matt in the morning with Natalie, I am so grateful that he is here. I am so grateful that he will never miss a birthday. Or Christmas. Or dance recital. He will be available to chaperone field trips and ferry her to soccer practice. He can teach her the intricacies of baseball and long division. And — when she’s older — boys. Because she will probably go to an all-girl’s high school, he will be available for those Daddy-Daughter dances that my cousins are so fond of now. He will be the one to teach her to make snow angels in Winter and how to execute a perfect cannonball dive in the Summer.

And although it’s so so important to both of us that she knows who he is, I am also grateful that he knows who she is. I don’t want her to be stranger to him either. My mom hasn’t seen her granddaughter since she was about 3 weeks old. Of course, she remembers Natalie. Of course she has watched her grow in pictures and, soon, will watch her on a webcam. But if you ask her, she’ll say it’s just not the same.

Army life is rewarding in other ways. I’m grateful for Matt’s involvement in Natalie’s life, that’s all. I feel blessed to have my family together and safe. I wouldn’t want it any other way.

920 -- Things I'm loving these days

1. The rain. It is nature's car wash. Plus it smells good.
2. The PSI monitor on my car. I'll leave you to your inferences.
3. These to do list note pads from prettybitter.com. I appreciate their honesty. (PS My birthday is coming up!)
4. Moms Like Me. After searching high and low for a full time working mom online support group, I finally stumbled on this (all local!) site. They have already helped me through one low point.
5. My darling daughter. Despite sickness, exhaustion, and general icky feelings, she manages to be amazing every day. We should all be so lucky.
6. My new fabric softener scent. Hey, it's all about the little things, right?
7. My husband. He works really hard, and never (hardly ever) complains. I have a lot to learn from him.
8. Custom return address stamps like these. Because labels are so last decade. Did I mention my birthday is coming up?
9. Bath time. Natalie's bath routine is the time we are guaranteed every day. We pick out her clothes, get some tub time in, and she talks up a storm. Afterwords, I feed her and sing to her. Sometimes she sings along.
10. Friends who call more than a month ahead of my birthday to ask what my plans are and if I want to get together to celebrate. They don't need no stinkin Facebook reminder! Thanks friend :)

Anything you're loving these days?

649.1 -- Things I've learned from being a mommy

1. A very very clean house is not necessarily a home

Of course it's necessary that Natalie has a clean place to grow and thrive. Clean clothes to wear. Clean bottles from which to drink. And a clean place to sleep. Does that mean it's important to vacuum the house every day? To scrub her bathtub after every bath? To sanitize her bottles after every feeding? Not to me. Will she mind if the dishes pile up or if her laundry never does get folded? She won't. And if she does, I hope she won't care.

What I hope she remembers are the trio of lullabies I sing to her at every bedtime. That I would rather cuddle and play with her than anything else. Even if she doesn't remember specific things, she will hopefully remember that she was always more important to me than chores.

I try to get Matt to understand this, but maybe one of us has to keep an eye on the dust bunnies.

Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo

The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs and dust go to sleep!
I'm rocking my baby for babies don't keep.

by Ruth Hulbert Hamilton