cinderella ate my daughter

Growing up, I always heard how important it was to create your own values and to not let society dictate who you become. Peer pressure was a four letter word, and in social situations it was to be treated similarly to drugs and alcohol. Just say no to peer pressure.

I realize now that there's a not-so-subtle line between what I want for my own satisfaction and what society tells me I should want. And I'm coming to appreciate that if I strive for the former, I will be a happier person.

It took me almost 30 years to realize that. Is it impossible to hope that Natalie could grow up with that knowledge? Is it impossible to believe that she could grow into a 12-year-old girl who puts more emphasis on doing her best in school and being a good friend than the clothes she wears or fitting in with the right crowd?

Do you worry about these things for your daughter (or your son's future prom date)? Or were you were perturbed at seeing a 6-year-old dressed as a Pussycat Doll last Halloween? If so, you might want to pick up Cinderella Ate My Daughter the next time you are at the library.

Among the quotes that resonated with me (enough to write them down) were these:

What I want for my daughter seems so simple: for her to grow up healthy, happy and confident, with a clear sense of her own potential and the opportunity to fulfill it. p.9

Where was the point that exploration of femininity turned to exploitation of it, the line between frivolous fun and JonBenet? p.72

I don't want my daughter to be twenty-one when she is twelve. p.84

Rather than raising a generation of Cinderellas, we may actually be cultivating a legion of step-sisters -- spoiled, self-centered, materialists, superficially charming but without the depth or means for authentic transformation. p.104

If you have read or decide to read Cinderella Ate My Daughter, I would love to discuss it with you!