a bunny ache

Last Christmas, I bought myself a gift from Natalie. It was a book called My Quotable Kid in which I could record all of the wonderful, amazing, funny things she would say once she started talking in earnest. Yesterday I finally made my first entry.

We were reading The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle. Natalie is now able to fill in the words of some books as we go. So, for instance, we read:

Mommy: In the light of the moon a little...
Natalie: egg
Mommy: lay on a...
Natalie: leaf. (She's very big on nouns.)
Mommy: One Sunday morning, the warm sun came up and ...
Natalie: POP! (the rare onomatopoeia)
Mommy: out of the egg came a tiny and very hungry...
Natalie: caterpillar.

It's adorable.

So when we got to Saturday in the book, we alternated reading the list of food the caterpillar had eaten that day. Natalie was able to help with most of the words -- pickle, cheese, ice cream, melon -- you get the idea. At the end of the list, there waits a very sick looking caterpillar.

We continued reading.
Mommy: That night, he had a...
Natalie: bunny ache.

I laughed of course. And I squeezed her and kissed her. A lot.

18 months

Dear Natalie,

When you were born, I couldn't wait for your firsts. Your first smile, your first word, your first step. I remember thinking how nice it would be when you could hold your own bottle/cup, eat real food, walk on your own. Now we're there. Now you learn something every single day. Now time is moving too quickly. You're growing up too fast. I love the little girl you're growing into, but I am already nostalgic for the baby you've grown out of. I love you, angelface.

Love, Mommy

I guess that I can hold you one more time before you grow.

And tell you that I love you, so that you'll always know.

Please let me tie your shoe again. One day you'll tie your own.

And when you think back to this time. I hope it's love I've shown.

Tonight could I please wash your hair? And put toys in the bath?

Can I help you count your small ten toes before I teach you math?

Please let me help you up the hill. while you're still too small to climb.

And let me read you stories while you're young and have the time.

I know the day will come when you will do these things alone.

Will you recall the shoulder rides and all the balls we've thrown?

So will you let me carry you? One day you'll walk alone.

I cannot bear to miss one day from now until you've grown.

Original poem by Brad Anderson. Full text here.

cinderella ate my daughter

Growing up, I always heard how important it was to create your own values and to not let society dictate who you become. Peer pressure was a four letter word, and in social situations it was to be treated similarly to drugs and alcohol. Just say no to peer pressure.

I realize now that there's a not-so-subtle line between what I want for my own satisfaction and what society tells me I should want. And I'm coming to appreciate that if I strive for the former, I will be a happier person.

It took me almost 30 years to realize that. Is it impossible to hope that Natalie could grow up with that knowledge? Is it impossible to believe that she could grow into a 12-year-old girl who puts more emphasis on doing her best in school and being a good friend than the clothes she wears or fitting in with the right crowd?

Do you worry about these things for your daughter (or your son's future prom date)? Or were you were perturbed at seeing a 6-year-old dressed as a Pussycat Doll last Halloween? If so, you might want to pick up Cinderella Ate My Daughter the next time you are at the library.

Among the quotes that resonated with me (enough to write them down) were these:

What I want for my daughter seems so simple: for her to grow up healthy, happy and confident, with a clear sense of her own potential and the opportunity to fulfill it. p.9

Where was the point that exploration of femininity turned to exploitation of it, the line between frivolous fun and JonBenet? p.72

I don't want my daughter to be twenty-one when she is twelve. p.84

Rather than raising a generation of Cinderellas, we may actually be cultivating a legion of step-sisters -- spoiled, self-centered, materialists, superficially charming but without the depth or means for authentic transformation. p.104

If you have read or decide to read Cinderella Ate My Daughter, I would love to discuss it with you!

Obviously classy

If you’re anything like most people, you’ve gone through a period where you hated your name. Maybe you’ve sworn, as I did, that if you ever got the chance to name your own child, you’d do much better than your parents did.

I decided on my daughter’s first name a long time ago, so I’m lucky that the husband has similar taste. But what does our choice of names say about our taste exactly?

According to the book Beyond Ava & Aiden (the updated version of Beyond Jennifer & Jason), the name Natalie is glamorous, vintage chic, and feminine. It is also serious and grown-up, a name “your daughter may thank you for as she gets older.” And it reveals that Matt and I have a touch of Yuppy in us.

Natalie’s middle name — Claire — is all of those things, as well as “obviously classy.” Nice to know!

None of this guarantees that Natalie will like her name. The name Frances is a hipster name that is both serious and vintage. And although it has been “over looked by the masses,” it “has class to spare.” None of which changes my opinion, of course.

If you want to know what your child’s name reveals about you (or what your name reveals about your parents!) find Beyond Ava & Aiden at your local library or bookstore. Or ask me to look it up. I totally will.

808.882 -- Nerdy Librarian Quote

"When you handle books all day long,
every new one is a friend and a temptation."
-- from The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova