Despite the fact that I have a large extended family and family of in-laws, and despite the fact that they were not sparing with their advice and wisdom, nothing took root. I didn't heed the warning to, "Sleep. Sleep. For the love of God, sleep whenever you can." I brushed off the people who said, "If you can't or decide not to, breastfeeding is not the be all end all." And only after I was home alone with my newborn baby for two days without help did I recognize the wisdom of, "Accept any and all help you are offered."
For these reasons, I don't expect my advice to go very far. I don't really even offer it, unless asked, because new parents are so over the moon in love with the thought of parenthood. Like me, they don't pause to consider that it might be harder than they expect. Way harder. But here it is anyway. For what it's worth.
- Take way too many pictures.
- Try out generic brands. Target's diapers are a lot better than name brand!
- Take it easy on yourself. There is almost nothing you can do that will scar your baby for life. If you have to bottle feed, take her to daycare, or let her cry for 10 minutes while you shower, that's okay.
- If something doesn't feel right, trust your judgment. Try different formulas (with or without your doctor's advice), and don't let her cry it out if it makes you uncomfortable.
- Do what you feel is best. You can't go back later and love your baby differently.
- Sleep every chance you get. I heard this a lot but didn't take heed. Seriously, sleep.
- Start a bedtime routine and stick with it.
- Try lots of calming techniques to see which ones you and baby like best. What worked for us: patting her bottom, while lightly bouncing her and making loud "shhh" sounds.
- Blackout blinds and a white noise machine can work wonders.
- Find a soothie that she likes. Natalie had no interest in pacifiers, but she likes falling asleep with a blankie. I wouldn't put her down without one now.
- Professional pictures are fun! And they don't have to cost a lot. We usually pay arond $20 at JC Penney with a coupon.
- Wide neck bottles are the way to go. They make middle-of-the-night feedings much easier. We like the ones from Gerber.
- Accept help when offered. And don't be afraid to ask for what you need.
- Say out loud, "I love you, I love you, I love you." When I found myself sleep-deprived, stressed and frustrated, holding a tired baby who wouldn't stop crying, this trick saved me.
- Nothing can prepare you for the first two months of motherhood. It isn't the same for everyone, but it was the hardest thing I've ever done.
- It gets so much better. Whether your baby is fussy or calm or colicky or sleeps all the time, the same is true. Every month is better than the last. She'll start smiling at you, sleeping regularly (or at least for longer periods), laughing, talking, moving on her own... there are so many things that get so much better.
- Sleep every chance you get. In case I didn't mention it before.
- Nothing can prepare you for how much you are going to love your little girl. But you might not feel that bond right away. Give it a month or so until you really get to know her. You'll fall head over heels.
- Get lots of advice, but go with your gut. I fed Natalie when she was hungry and let her sleep when she's tired. My friend had her infant on a strict schedule. Both of them continue to thrive, and they'll both turn out great.
- There really is no tried and true. Every baby is different.
- Get one of those temperature monitor thingies for her room. We don't have one, and we are constantly wondering if she is too hot or too cold.
- Video monitors are not overrated. I thought they were, so we didn't register for one. We have one now, and trust me. It's $150 well spent.
